South Park: The Stick of Truth Progress

You've unlocked all of the upgrades for a New Kid ability.

Over the course of the game, you've blocked 100 attacks.

You defeated the Meth Tweekers while wearing the Evil Cartman goatee and bald cap.

You defeated 3 enemies in one battle while your buddy was knocked out.

You collected 5 Chinpokomon.

You successfully blocked every enemy attack in a single (non-tutorial) battle.

You accepted your fate and chose the name Douchebag yourself.

You shat your pants during a boss battle.

You befriended your father.

You defeated the Grand Wizard Cartman in battle.

You defeated the Boss Hall Monitor while wearing freckles.

You found Jesus while playing as a Jew.

You defeated Princess Kenny and recovered the Stick of Truth.

You've spent $500.

You have collected half of the available costume sets.

You befriended both crab people and gnomes.

You sold 300 junk items.

You watched your parents have sex for 60 seconds.

You farted on 10 enemies in the world that were knocked out.

You defeated the High Jew Elf Kyle in battle.

You collected 15 Chinpokomon.

You made friends with half of South Park.

You befriended the Goths, like everyone else playing this game.

You opened all of the garages in South Park.

You completed your first day in South Park.

You have joined the KKK.

Over the course of the game, you've scored 100 perfect attacks.

You flung a turd of your own creation at an enemy.

While inside Mr. Slave, you summoned Mr. Slave.

You've farted on every buddy in the game.

You defeated Princess Kenny while living with Dire AIDS.

You defeated 20 enemies using Cartman's Ass.

You've farted on animals 25 times.

You farted on the corpse of an aborted Nazi Zombie fetus.

You've farted on people 100 times.

Gingers have bitten you 3 times without you blocking.

You knocked out 3 or more enemies with a single fart outside of battle.

You've farted on a dog while in gnome form.

You defeated Princess Kenny in your girl makeover disguise.

You defeated Princess Kenny while looking like David Hasselhoff.

You farted on four major authority figures.

You've let Kenny die in combat 10 times over the course of the game.